Hurt Feelings Report Template

Hurt Feelings Report Template

The Hurt Feelings Report form serves as a humorous outlet for individuals wishing to document their emotional distress in a tongue-in-cheek manner. By filling out this form, users seek to express their feelings and perhaps garner some sympathy from others. If you find yourself in need of a hug or support, consider filling out the form by clicking the button below.

Content Overview

In today’s world, where emotions often run high and interpersonal interactions can lead to misunderstandings, the Hurt Feelings Report form emerges as a humorous yet curious tool. Designed with a lighthearted approach, this form serves a unique purpose: it allows individuals to document instances when their feelings have been hurt. To initiate the process, it is essential to physically hand the form to a law enforcement officer, ensuring a proper channel for reporting. The form collects basic information about the "whiner," including their name, age, and the specifics of the hurtful incident, such as when and where it occurred. It even probes whether anyone offered sympathy at the time, inviting a lighthearted perspective on what constitutes emotional support. The inquiry extends to the injury itself, asking respondents to reflect on the impact of the hurtful words. Users can also detail their reasons for filing the report, ranging from personal sensitivities to external circumstances that may have contributed to their feelings. To add a touch of accountability, the form requires signatures for authenticity, collecting both the whiner's and the reporter’s names. While the Hurt Feelings Report form adopts a playful tone, its underlying aim is clear: to acknowledge and validate emotional experiences, however trivial they may seem to some.

Hurt Feelings Report Sample

HURT FEELINGS REPORT

To use this form, it must be physically placed in the hands of any Law Enforcement Officer

DATA REQUIRED BY THE PRIVACY ACT OF 1974

AUTHORITY: PRINCIPAL PURPOSE:

ROUTINE USES:

DISCLOSURE:

S USC 301, Departmental Regulation, 10 USC 3013 and a log of other regulations too To assist whiners in documenting hurt feelings

Whiners should use this form to seek sympathy from someone who cares

Disclosure is voluntary, however, repeated whining may lead to your file being stamped "candy ass" or some other appropriate term

PART I - ADMINISTRATIVE DATA

A. WHINER'S NAME (Last, First, MI)

B. WHINER'S AGE

C. WHINER'S SEX

D. DATE OF REPORT

E. TYPE OF WHINE USED

F. NAME OF THE PERSON FILLING OUT THIS FORM

PART II - INCIDENT REPORT

A. DATE FEELINGS WERE HURT

B. TIME OF HURTFULNESS

C. LOCATION OF HURTFUL COMMENTS

D. WAS ANYONE SYMPATHETIC TO WHINER (Please include paid witnesses)

E. NAME OF PERSON WHO HURT YOUR PANSY ASS FEELINGS

F. HOW LONG DID YOU WHINE

G. WHICH FEELINGS WERE HURT

PART III - INJURY

(Circle all that apply)

1. WHICH EAR WERE THE HURTFULL WORDS SPOKEN INTO?

2. IS THERE PERMANENT FEELING DAMAGE?

 

LEFT

RIGHT

 

BOTH

 

YES

NO

MAYBE

3. DID YOU REQUIRE A "TISSUE" FOR TEARS?

 

4. HAS THIS RESULTED IN A TRAUMATIC BRAIN INJURY?

YES

NO

MULTIPLE

 

YES

NO

MAYBE

 

 

PART IV - REASON FOR

FILING THIS REPORT

 

 

 

 

 

(Mark all that apply)

 

 

 

I am thin skinned

 

 

The Dept needs to fix my problems

 

Two beers is not enough

 

 

I am a wimp

 

 

My feelings are easily hurt

 

My hands should be in my pockets

 

I have woman / man-like hormones

 

I didn't sign up for this

 

I was not offered a tissue

 

 

I am a crybaby

 

 

I was told that I am not a hero

 

Someone requested a tissue

 

 

I want my mommy

 

 

The weather is too cold

 

All of the above and more

 

NARRATIVE (Tell us in your own sissy words how your feelings were hurt, as if anyone cared)

PART V - AUTHENTICATION

A. PRINTED REPORTER NAME (if you wish to be labeled too)

B. SIGNATURE (are you sure about this?)

C. PRINTED WHINER NAME (you really are going out on a limb here) D. SIGNATURE OF WHINER (you have got to be shitting me!)

We, as the Dept, take hurt feelings seriously. If you don't have someone who can give you a hug and make things all better, please let us know and we will promptly dispatch a "hugger" to you ASAP. In the event a "hugger cannot be found, an EMS Team will be dispatched to soak your socks in coal oil to prevent ants from crawling up your leg and eating their way up your candy ass. If you are in need of supplemental support, upon written request, we will make every reasonable effort to prvide you with a "blankie", a "binky" and/or a bottle if you so desire.

Document Attributes

Fact Name Description
Purpose of the Form This form is designed to help individuals document their "hurt feelings" incidents.
Privacy Act Compliance The use of this form is governed by the Privacy Act of 1974.
Disclosure Information Disclosure is voluntary, but excessive use may result in labels like "candy ass".
Whiner's Information Several personal details are required from the "whiner", including name and age.
Incident Details The form prompts the user to provide specifics about the incident, such as date and location.
Emotional Impact Assessment Users must indicate any emotional injuries sustained, which include possible permanent damage.
Support Options The department offers various support, including a "hugger" or supplemental items like a "blankie".

Hurt Feelings Report: Usage Instruction

When completing the Hurt Feelings Report form, it’s essential to provide accurate information for each section. A thorough and carefully filled out form will help ensure your case is acknowledged promptly. Follow these steps to complete the form effectively.

  1. Write your name in the "WHINER'S NAME" section (Last, First, MI).
  2. Indicate your age in the "WHINER'S AGE" field.
  3. Select your sex in the "WHINER'S SEX" option.
  4. Enter the date on which you are filling out the report in the "DATE OF REPORT" box.
  5. Identify the type of whine used in the appropriate section.
  6. Provide the name of the person filling out the form in the designated area.
  7. In Part II, state the date when your feelings were hurt.
  8. Specify the time when the hurtful comments were made.
  9. Document the location of the hurtful comments.
  10. State whether anyone was sympathetic to you, including paid witnesses, in the section provided.
  11. Identify the individual who hurt your feelings.
  12. Indicate how long you have been whining.
  13. List the specific feelings that were hurt in the designated area.
  14. In Part III, circle which ear the hurtful words were spoken into (Left, Right, Both).
  15. Answer the question about permanent feeling damage by selecting Yes, No, or Maybe.
  16. Indicate if you required a tissue for your tears by marking Yes or No.
  17. State whether this incident resulted in a traumatic brain injury by selecting Yes, No, or Maybe.
  18. In Part IV, mark all reasons for filing the report that apply to you.
  19. In the NARRATIVE section, describe how your feelings were hurt.
  20. Complete Part V by printing your name in the "PRINTED REPORTER NAME" section, if desired.
  21. Sign the form where indicated, affirming your submission.
  22. Print your name under "PRINTED WHINER NAME."
  23. Provide your signature again in the "SIGNATURE OF WHINER" section.

Once you have finished filling out the form, ensure that it is submitted in person to a Law Enforcement Officer. They will process your report according to their protocols.

Frequently Asked Questions

  1. What is the purpose of the Hurt Feelings Report form?

    The Hurt Feelings Report form is designed for individuals who feel their feelings have been hurt and wish to document the incident. It allows for the expression of grievances in a structured manner, ultimately seeking some sympathy or acknowledgment from authorities.

  2. Who qualifies as a "whiner" on this form?

    A "whiner" refers to anyone who feels their feelings have been unjustly hurt by the actions or words of others. The term is meant to be light-hearted and is not intended to belittle the emotional experiences of anyone using the form.

  3. What kind of information do I need to provide?

    You will need to fill out both administrative data and details regarding the incident that caused the hurt feelings. This includes your name, age, the date and time the incident occurred, and other relevant details as prompted by the form.

  4. How do I submit the form?

    The form must be physically submitted to a law enforcement officer. It cannot be submitted digitally or through other means. This requirement emphasizes the seriousness with which the department approaches these concerns.

  5. Is it mandatory to fill out all parts of the form?

    While it’s encouraged to provide as much detail as possible, filling out every section is not strictly mandatory. However, not providing enough information may limit the department's ability to address your concerns adequately.

  6. What happens after I submit the form?

    Once the form is submitted, the department will review your report. They take hurt feelings seriously and may dispatch support, including a "hugger" if needed. Depending on the nature of the report, they may also offer additional resources or follow-ups.

  7. Will my information be kept confidential?

    The form suggests that while disclosure is voluntary, sharing personal feelings may lead to informal labels being assigned. How the information is handled could vary, so it's best to clarify with the department about confidentiality policies.

  8. Can I file this report for someone else?

    The form is meant for individuals filing on their own behalf. If you believe someone else is in distress, encourage them to fill out the form themselves to ensure their feelings are accurately represented.

  9. Are there any consequences for filing this report?

    There are no formal consequences for submitting a Hurt Feelings Report. However, the form humorously suggests that frequent reports may lead to the designation of being overly sensitive, which serves as a light-hearted reminder to consider the context of your feelings.

  10. What support or resources does the department offer?

    The department is committed to offering various types of emotional support, which include the dispatch of “huggers” and additional comfort items like blankets or bottles. They aim to provide a compassionate response, regardless of the situation.

Common mistakes

When filling out the Hurt Feelings Report form, many individuals overlook crucial details. One common mistake is failing to complete all required administrative data in Part I. Information such as the whiner’s name, age, and sex is essential. Inaccurate or incomplete data may lead to difficulties processing the report or a lack of follow-up.

Another frequent error is neglecting to document the incident accurately in Part II. This section asks for specifics about the date, time, and location of the hurtful comments. Providing vague details can hinder the ability of law enforcement to understand the situation. Specificity strengthens the report and ensures that your feelings receive the attention they deserve.

Many people also underestimate the importance of including eyewitnesses or sympathetic individuals in the incident report. This oversight can weaken the case. When listing potential witnesses, it’s beneficial to include anyone who was present or could validate the feelings being reported. This helps paint a fuller picture of the incident and enhances credibility.

Lastly, individuals often rush through the narrative section, which diminishes the impact of their report. Taking the time to articulate how one’s feelings were hurt is vital. It’s an opportunity to express emotions clearly. A thoughtful narrative can resonate more deeply with those reviewing the report, offering a chance for genuine sympathy and a potential resolution.

Documents used along the form

The Hurt Feelings Report form serves a unique purpose in documenting emotional distress, particularly in humorous contexts. It is often accompanied by several other forms and documents, which collectively address various aspects of emotional responses and informal complaints. Below is a list of related documents that often accompany the Hurt Feelings Report.

  • Empathy Request Form: This document allows individuals to formally request empathy from peers, supervisors, or support staff after experiencing distressing events. It emphasizes the need for understanding in situations perceived as hurtful.
  • Stress Release Form: This form facilitates the documentation of stress-related incidents. It encourages individuals to express their feelings in a supportive manner, helping to establish a record of their emotional state over time.
  • Support Network Notification: This notification is used to inform a person's support system about the individual's emotional struggles. It may include family, friends, or counseling services that the individual wishes to engage for support.
  • Incident Reflection Document: This document provides space for individuals to reflect on incidents that caused distress. It encourages them to analyze the situation and identify constructive ways to cope with their feelings.
  • Feelings Feedback Form: This feedback form is designed to gather responses from colleagues or peers on their understanding of emotional situations. It helps to build a community of awareness and sensitivity toward emotional well-being.

These forms and documents work together to create an environment that supports emotional expression and understanding. They enhance the process initiated by the Hurt Feelings Report, highlighting the importance of empathy and support in the face of personal distress.

Similar forms

  • Incident Report Form: Similar to the Hurt Feelings Report, an Incident Report Form collects detailed information about a specific event. It asks for the date, time, location, and individuals involved, allowing for documentation of occurrences that require further investigation or follow-up.
  • Complaint Form: This document enables individuals to file grievances formally. Like the Hurt Feelings Report, it provides a space for individuals to express their concerns and seek resolution. Both forms aim to assist in capturing personal experiences and emotions.
  • Feedback Form: A Feedback Form helps gather insights about experiences or services. Similar to the Hurt Feelings Report, it invites individuals to voice their opinions and feelings. The aim is to improve situations or provide support based on emotional triggers.
  • Grievance Report: This document is used to officially report complaints or issues within an organization. Much like the Hurt Feelings Report, it allows individuals to express dissatisfaction or emotional harm, seeking acknowledgment and resolution from higher authorities.
  • Outreach Request Form: Like the Hurt Feelings Report, this form is employed when someone feels they need additional support. Whether it's for emotional or physical help, both documents recognize the need for assistance during tough times.
  • Mental Health Check-in Form: This form aims to assess an individual’s mental well-being. It parallels the Hurt Feelings Report in acknowledging feelings and experiences, emphasizing the importance of emotional health and seeking necessary support.
  • Support Request Form: A Support Request Form is sought when someone needs assistance due to emotional distress. It shares a similar purpose with the Hurt Feelings Report, as both serve to provide a pathway for individuals to express their needs and seek help.

Dos and Don'ts

When filling out the Hurt Feelings Report form, consider these do's and don'ts.

  • Do clearly write your name and age at the top of the form.
  • Do accurately describe the incident that hurt your feelings.
  • Don't exaggerate your feelings; be honest about the situation.
  • Don't leave any required fields blank; incomplete forms may not be processed.

Misconceptions

Here are some common misconceptions about the Hurt Feelings Report form that deserve clarification:

  • It’s a serious legal document. Many people think this form has legal weight in court. In reality, it’s a humorous way to address emotional grievances and isn’t meant for legal proceedings.
  • Anyone can file a report at any time. It’s often assumed that you can fill out this report and submit it without guidelines. However, it must be given directly to a Law Enforcement Officer to be acknowledged.
  • Those who use the form are guaranteed sympathy. Some believe that filing the report guarantees a sympathetic ear. Unfortunately, the form is designed more for reflection on feelings than for actual assistance.
  • Submitting a report will fix your problems. Many think that completing this report will resolve emotional issues. However, it primarily serves as a tongue-in-cheek recognition of hurt feelings rather than a mechanism for real change.

Understanding these misconceptions helps clarify the intent and use of the Hurt Feelings Report. It's meant to be lighthearted, not a serious resource for addressing genuine emotional distress.

Key takeaways

When completing the Hurt Feelings Report form, it is important to understand its purpose and how to submit it correctly. Here are seven key takeaways:

  • Submission Requirements: The form must be physically given to a Law Enforcement Officer for it to be valid.
  • Personal Information: You will need to provide your name, age, sex, and details about the incident that caused your hurt feelings.
  • Optional Disclosure: Disclosing your feelings is voluntary, but frequent submissions may result in your report being labeled negatively.
  • Incident Details: Clearly describe the date, time, and location of the event that hurt your feelings, along with the person responsible.
  • Feelings Assessment: Indicate which feelings were hurt and any physical or emotional injuries sustained, like the need for a tissue.
  • Narrative Space: Use the narrative section to express how you felt during the incident and why it affected you.
  • Authentication: Sign the form to confirm your report and to ensure it reflects your genuine feelings.

By following these key points, individuals can navigate the form efficiently and ensure their concerns are addressed appropriately.

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